Understanding the Family System: More Than Just a Group of People
- sandymhunter
- May 12
- 2 min read
When you picture a family, what do you think about? Most people think of a group of people who are related — parents, kids, siblings or maybe even grandparents. A family is more than a ‘group of people’, it is an emotional and relational system, which is deeply interconnected.
Like other living systems, a family system is best viewed as a whole which is made up of parts, each family has its own structure, rules and relational interactions. What do I mean? Well, what I mean is that in a family, the behaviour of an individual member has the power to influence the entire family.
Viewing a family as a system helps to move beyond seeing one individual as the ‘problem’, who needs ‘fixing’. Rather it allows for an understanding of how the family as a whole operates and how a family might be unintentionally maintaining the ‘problem behaviour.’
Families aren’t static, they shift, evolve, and grow. Like all systems, families seek to maintain the status quo. These invisible forces within the family, mean that families often work to maintain unconscious patterns, roles, rules or ways of working.
For example, if a family is used to one member being the "caretaker" and another being the "troublemaker," those roles may stay fixed, even when the situation changes. It's like the family has a barometer, it tries to keep things "comfortable”, even if that isn’t exactly healthy.
This desire for stability is powerful, but it can also keep families stuck in unhealthy patterns. Recognising the pull for the ‘status quo’ or ‘balance’ is the first step toward creating change.
So next time you notice that you are having challenges with a relationship at home, try to look at the bigger picture.
- What role am I playing?
- How are my interactions impacting the issue?
- What small shift can I make to change the system?
When one person is able to change their part, it can create a ripple of change in the whole family system.
